If you are like me at all you spend too much time thinking about things you are not doing well or stressing about stuff not getting done. Busy…deadlines…pressure...you know the list. I left my brief retreat with my friend John Rhein yesterday feeling just the opposite. I felt good. I felt like a winner. You see, it is so difficult to maintain and grow friendships. They get squeezed out into the thin margins of our lives. Sometimes they get squeezed out all together. Not this time.
I come away from my retreat feeling good about a lot of things. Just like many of you I struggle with feelings of guilt leaving work and family for “me” time. It is not a natural endeavor to carve time out for friendship. But the rewards are huge. We had some great laughs, awesome food, and saw some cool things. Most importantly we checked in on where are hearts are toward God and others in our lives. John challenges me to grow and stretch. He calls me his “twisted pastor friend” (you’ll have to ask him). After about two days we have said all there is to be said and we head back home sharpened in our spiritual walk and challenged to keep growing as we chase our dreams for God’s Kingdom.
When was the last time you did something intentional with a friend? Friendship takes work and effort. It has to be a priority because it will cost you. The devil wants to pull us away and keep us isolated. T.D. Jakes said that, “Most men hide behind what they do not who they are.” He also defines “intimacy” in male friendships as “in-to-me-see”. Right now some of your homophobia is kicking in…I get it. Get over it and “man-up!” Real men need real friends and today I am thankful for the friends God has given me.
Stu Weber said, “a friend is someone who knows you as you are, understands where you’ve been, accepts who you’ve become, and still invites you to grow.”
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6 comments:
It's always encouraging to be led by a "twisted pastor"! Seriously though, I like this blog. It really does require effort to make friendship work. And I think this ties back to last week when we talked about "putting things down" and prioritizing. In addition to putting things down, I think we sometimes need to pick up the phone or pick up a fork with a friend! Taking the time to do that can be very helpful. But yea, I agree that the feelings of guilt, especially with two young boys, can be the challenge for me. Glad you're back refreshed!
Great blog, John! It is so important for men to have good friends that can encourage them and challenge them! My husband, David, is lucky to have a few good friends like that in his life. I enjoy encouraging him to spend time with them!
-Heather Tamburello
Great message, John! Last weekend, I went for a five-hour hike with a good friend from college. We had plenty of time to discuss many topics... it was a refreshing moment!
Hey Jeff...I love the "picking up the fork" comment. Those are my kind of friends.
Hey Heather. I heard you are going to Italy! You deserve it! I hope life in the south is treating you and David well. I was thrilled to hear that you are still working with Buddy. Thanks for reading my blog and checking in!
Stephen - a 5 mile hike - you are the man. Not sure my friends would be up for that but it does give me ideas!
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